Not to be negative or anything.. but I have decided to list all the “floating” worries that are in my head.

Health
Japan’s Earthquake (the suffering people, the consequences for the whole world)
Plane Crashes – Plane Malfunctions (on the JFK runway??,  or.. the plane’s fuesilage just opened up in flight!)
Appearance (this sounds so trivial, yet it’s floating there)  – includes weight, what to wear, hair
Work (will I get it done on time)
Economy (or Money to put it differently).  What will happen to really all of us. Join in!
Leave me more items that float in your head.

Be sure to use your mouse ON the movie and move it around while it’s playing – so you can see all angles.  Enjoy!

Consider the person who blurts “it all” out on and offline.  Nothing held back.  Not from anyone about anything.  In a way this is total freedom.  It’s the ultimate “Be Yourself!”.  But where does this lead?  It could lead to closed doors down the road.  Regret?  Perhaps that too.  Paybacks for all people who have been insulted or hurt.  Cold shoulders from those who disapproved.   Of course there would be a big payoff:  all the fun and comradery along the way from those who agree, support and favor or were favored by “the truth” that gets spoken or written.

I’m just not sure. Therefore, thus far I have been cautious in life.  Cautious about gossip (I don’t like it), cautious about public announcements of feelings and any other personal information.

An anachronism I think.   Today’s world of networking and facebooking  is just so OVER such worry.  In today’s world the need to participate definitely trumps any concerns about privacy.  So while from time to time we hear a squeak from privacy advocates, mostly they are becoming a bit of a laughing stock.  I mean who are they supporting?  Or do they intend to truely protect people from themselves who are pouring out their guts online?

Worried I am – in all respects – about privacy – too much or too little – either way, I’m worried.

1.  Driving on ice.

2.  Worry about not remembering all the people I really want to acknowledge during the holidays

3.  Not being able to control eating (and not enjoying the food when i lose control anyway)

4.  Travel headaches – getting off the ground on an icey snowy day

5.  Getting to the airport on time for #4

6.  Completing the ever growing list of work related items before the holiday.

7.  Worry that my dog will get lost and freeze

8.  Worry about getting “SAD” (Seasonal Affective Disorder).

9.  Worry about slush when i forgot my boots.

10.  Worry about losing power in the cold.

The actual definition of hoarding in dictionaries that I have found is not so denigrating.  It’s some vague reference to stockpiling or accumulating things for preservation or future use.

But now all this attention about hoarding is on these people who are living horrible lives.  The TV shows come to the rescue, hosts argue with the hoarder about getting started to clean up their messes.  We’re served up a hefty dish of disgusting animal droppings, mold, and general disorder.   Talk shows indicate it’s a form of OCD or addiction (depending upon which one you watch).  Mostly, we are expected to be entertained.

I guess, along with shows like Biggest Loser, this type of reality show is supposed to make us feel better about ourselves by virtue of them showing the lowest of the low (we’re not so bad as they are), but still leaves us worrying and in doubt.  Is it possible we have these tendencies?

Anyone who has ever invited company over and then has to think about getting the place cleaned up before they arrive knows the feeling of “My place is not clean/picked up enough.   I myself use the paper bag technique in the kitchen.  Haul out some supermarket bags, stuff all the items cluttering my desk, counters, etc. into them and hide them till the company leaves.

But in my mind I have just TONS of stuff all over the house.  The older I get the more I have.  It’s exactly like too many pounds.  Years of “I just have to have that” have lead to a house full of STUFF.   I’d like to think it’s organized.  I don’t have filth, my paths through the house are clear.  I won’t faint if my doorbell rings.   But now thanks to the hoarding shows I have something new to worry about.   Do I have this propensity?  I wonder what it is they want me to do or buy to fix it.

Even as I look at the online dictionary I’m seeing “sponsored results” on how to get rid of my junk inbetween the definitions.    So that’s it – they want me to worry that I too am a hoarder and now I need to pay someone to haul my stuff off.   More anxiety.

Which tea is it that is supposed to calm me down?

So,  I’ve grown fat.  And now, after enough years, it’s a really serious problem.   So, I’ll try to start tomorrow.  But I’m worried (of course).  Will I really do it?  I have to get past my morning meal without my beloved TOAST.  It’s a lot like loosing a lover.

Not only am I educated by watching these commercials, I’m stressed out, anxious and angry.  And the dinner hour news ads are almost exclusively pharmaceuticals.  So when I remember to do it I mute the commercials.  But as you might imagine, I either forget to unmute and miss the news when it returns or I just forget to mute in the first place and the cycle goes on.  Watching the news during dinner becomes an active task with the remote.  Fork-Remote-Fork-Remote. Not fun.   Newspapers are dying and expensive (I’m sad about that).  I do get a lot of news here on the internet.

2.  Uploaded encrypted files to the “Cloud” and worried about how safe they are.  (Major companies put up far more serious stuff than I did, but still, worried anyway)

3.  Felt tired and I haven’t exercised yet.  Worried that I won’t today and then will fall into a funk about it and then get into one of those downward spirals.

4.  Anxious because I got phone calls from relatives that I have not yet returned.  I’ve got to make these calls but it makes me cringe and creates some generalized floating anxiety

5.  Worried momentarily about driving as I considered how all the other cars have the ability to kill me in a flash.  It always amazes me that somehow we maintain relative normalcy on the road.

6.  Worried about work and/or lack of work.  As a freelancer, I am never sure which job is the last job.  Right now things are going well.  Ironically the more work I have and enjoy, the more I worry about it ending.

7.  What’s with my thumb joint?  My whole left thumb area is hurting and swollen.  I’m worried it is carpal tunnel and I need to type!

But how many of you are not quite sure how to spend your time?  Be honest now.  How many of you go to work, not sure if this is the true path you should be on.  How many of you don’t know how to spend your leisure time?  And how many of you even think about the passage of time in some accute manner? 

This may be wrapped up with one’s particular sense of mortality.  I doubt I spent a single minute ruminating how I spent my time in my first 2 decades of life.  I do think it started to creep in by my third.  and definitely this ruminating reared it’s head by my fourth decade.  I’m past those decades now (nevermind by how much).  But for sure, I now worry about how I spend my time.  I’m particulary, of late, upset when I have some leisure time and I’m not sure what I want to do with it.  If I fill it up with tasks, no matter the value and no matter the hardship or pleasure it brings, the sense of satifaction is never quite determined before the time is spent.  I tend to do things (or not) and then, when it is over, decide if it was really “grand” or an unfortunate waste. 
This is surely some form of anxiety (and perhaps there is some name one of you professionals can give for this – by all means leave your comments).  Is this you?   Let us know.